As a single gal, I think there are a lot of misconceived ideas about what it is like as a single person.
You Have No Life
I once had a co-worker say to me, "It is a good thing you are single so you can work late?" I replied, "I don't want to work late, but the deadlines have to be met, what does being single have to do with it?" He said "Because you don't have a life"
I was flabbergasted. What? I don't have a life? Just because I don't have a husband or kids, doesn't mean I don't have a family I want to spend time with. It doesn't mean I don't have things that needs to be done or things I want to do - I have a LIFE, even if I am single.
People think that as a single person, I work late to "fill the void" of not having a family. That is so untrue. I work late because deadlines have to be met, I am a manager and I am held to a certain standard, I have people depending on me. I work late because all the others couldn't stay late or couldn't meet the deadline because they had to go pick up their kids or take them to practice, or cook dinner for their family. I work late because they didn't finish their jobs so now I have to finish it for them.
Plus, there are things I like and want to do...go to shows and movies, I like spending time with friends, I have hobbies, I like traveling....I HAVE A LIFE!
You Have No Family
I have a family. I have parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews (well I personally, don't have a nephew but single people do), aunts, uncles, cousins.
The definition of a family is not just you + spouse or you + spouse + children.
You Have Boatloads of Money
Why people think this is beyond me. If you are married, you have 2 incomes, however, do you have 2 mortgages, 2 property tax assessments, 2 cable bills, 2 home phone bills - of course not (unless you are wealthy an own more than one home but I am assuming for the one home).
Everyone (regardless of family size) has one mortgage, one cable bill, one home phone bill (not cell phones - landlines), one annual property tax assessment - the price on these are the same rate if you are a one income household or a two income household - so if these items together are $1,500 a month.
So say 3 people earn $3,000 a month, 2 of them are married to each other - after they pay that, they have $ 4,500 left. But a single person only has $1,500.
What I am trying to express is that some things are the same cost (generally) for all people but single people do no have anyone to share the extra expense with...so why do people think we have a lot of money?
Now I know that there are other variables...electricity, water, etc can be more if you have more people living in the home but there are still basic things that cost the same.
Also...people assume that as a single person, you are not financially supporting someone else. That is not necessarily true. Many single people help support their parents, their friends, their siblings or their nieces/nephews, their Godchildren.
No one can know - they just assume that because you have no kids, that you only spend money on yourself. That just simply isn't the case.
You Have Time on Your Hands
Nope - quite the opposite. As with expenses, the same amount of household chores still have to be done.
The house has to be cleaned, the toilets have to be scrubbed, the floor has to be vacuumed, the car has to be washed, the yard has to be mowed/raked, the car needs to get new tires, someone needs to call the plumber, etc.
With a single person, you have to get all those things done, by yourself! Theoritically, non-single people have someone to share those duties with.
In addition, since many people think single people have time on their hands, single people are often asked to volunteer more for church functions or other volunteer projects and they often do that, leaving less time.
Single people help out their other single friends, when they can, by taking them to the shop to pick up their car when they had to leave it or taking them to the airport and things like that.
Single folks help out their friends and siblings by picking up other peoples kids from school or practice.
Also, we do want to do other things rather than "chores" - like go to the movies, go to a play, meet someone for dinner or heaven forbid go on a date with someone.
Also, as mentioned before, single people often work late to make up for the work not completed by others who didn't meet the deadlines.
I have a single friend right now that is on the brink of exhaustion. She works 10 hour days, then comes home, pays the bills, does the chores, fixes dinner for herself, etc. On one weekend, she drives almost 2 hours (one way) to one parents house and helps out there, on the other weekend, she drives 5 hours (one way) to the other parent's house and helps out there. She is not only single, but she has no siblings. She is so tired all the time but it is something she needs to do.
So...when single people are suppose to have all this extra time...I do not know.
You Have No Worries/Problems
This is really, really hard for me to understand. Single people have a lot to worry about.
If the car stops working, I don't have a spouse that can take a look at it or get it to the shop for me.
If I lose my job, I have NO income coming in the door, at all.
If the roof is leaking, I have to figure out how to fix it.
If my parent is sick, single people are more expected to help out than their married siblings.
Single people have to make sure the bills are paid and not rely on someone else to take care of it.
We have the same worries about finances, health, family, etc. that non-single people have.
Just because you are single, doesn't mean you don't have the same issues.
Conclusion
So....I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. I am not complaining about being single...in fact, I often think how lucky I am to be single - there are many advantages to it as well and I certaintly know that.
But there are just things that people have said to me, that makes me know that they think my life is all rainbows and unicorns, so I thought I would set the record straight.
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