It is 2019 - hard to believe...sometimes I still think about all the hype with Y2K and it doesn't seem all that long ago but it was 19 years ago! Wow!
New Year's Day is a day of hope and renewal, but it is also a day of sadness, for me at least. Today would have been my brother's 59th birthday. On my birthday each year, he'd call me and tease me about getting old and I would always say "Yes, but I will always be younger than you!" But … I am no longer younger than him. As of my last birthday, I am now older than he was when he passed away. I have lived longer than he got to live and that seems so unfair. I look at his beautiful grand-daughter and it breaks my heart that she will never know him except through photos of the 2 of them together up until her 1st birthday, since he didn't live to see her 2nd.
Isaiah 55:8 says ""For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."
While I know that to be true, it is still hard to accept it. Plus, January is also the month that of my dad's birthday, the month he passed away and the month that Thatcher, my beloved dog, passed away.
I know the New Year is a clean slate, so to speak, a brand new blank book, but at the same time, January 1st reminds me of those that are not here to start begin the year with me - it is a reminder that I have lived another year without them. I am grateful for those that are in my life but it doesn't mean you stop missing and hurting for those that aren't there.
Unlike most years, I don't have any resolutions this year. I am just going to focus on living for the day and living day by day and keeping my focus on the Lord.
I hope that 2019 brings lots of love and happiness and joy to everyone that is reading this and that God blesses you in ways you could have never even imagined.
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